Flushing, NY – It’s Tuesday night at Citi Field and in top of the eighth inning, the Mets still lead the Phillies by a score of 2-1. If the Amazins hold on to win, they will break their three-game losing streak. As a reward for his hard work, RHP Zack Wheeler will earn his second win of the season. As a bonus, his 7.45 ERA will drop.
The highlight of the game so far took place in the seventh inning when a fan made the decision to rush the field. For a long but brief half-second, he looked like a world class sprinter. Unfortunately for him, the baseball gods didn’t appreciate his intentions.
So they made sure he stumbled and bumbled like Sam-I-Am minus the green eggs and ham. Three seconds later, he was apprehended and off he went to Mets jail where Mr. Met will detain him until whoever and whenever picks him up.
Boys and girls, young and old, sober and inebriated, whatever you do… don’t rush the field. Stop right there… don’t do it because if you commit the crime, you will do the time… you dig? Imagine going on a job interview and explaining how you were detained by Mr. Met when your background check comes back dirty.
Now I’m aware some of you will not take and digest my words. For those of you who decide rush the field, I hope you’re in excellent shape because you will be tackled. Rather than run a straight like, zig-zag like Bo Jackson on Tecmo Super Bowl. As far as t-shirt goes, don’t wear one of either team. Instead, wear one of a good cause you support and hope a photographer takes a good picture of you being escorted out of the field.
Shifting from satire to reality, the Philadelphia Phillies have just tied the Mets. With a 2-2 score in the 8th inning, Mets RHP Zack Wheeler will not earn his second win of the season. With that said… sing us a song and whatever you do…
DON’T RUSH THE FIELD!!!